Social anxiety can make everyday life harder, and few things feel more daunting than looking for a job — and worse still, interviewing for one. Meeting new people may already be uncomfortable, and meeting employers who are there to evaluate you can feel downright terrifying. But it's far from hopeless. You can have social anxiety and still come across well in interviews. Here are three tips to help.
Choose jobs that fit you — not your anxiety
There's no rule that says someone with social anxiety can't be a car salesperson. It might even help them work through some of their anxiety. But it could also be exhausting, with all that socializing and the pressure of sales quotas.
On the other hand, some people would find a mostly solo job — like coding or software development — unbearable, while for others it's a great fit. So it's worth knowing what kinds of work suit your personality and interests, and aiming for those. Online career and personality quizzes can give you some ideas, and they can be fun to take.
Just be honest with yourself about one thing: is a job a good fit because it suits who you are, or because it lets you avoid what you're afraid of? A preference for quieter, focused work is fine. But if anxiety is the only thing steering you away from a job you'd really like, that's worth paying attention to. Avoidance tends to make anxiety bigger over time.
“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”
That's the title of a well-known self-help book by Susan Jeffers, and I think the title alone carries a powerful message. (The book is worth reading, too.) The idea is that it's okay to feel afraid, and still do what you need to do.
You're committing to not letting fear stop you from applying for jobs and going to interviews. Yes, you may feel very anxious, and it may even be noticeable to others. You're willing to have that happen. Don't be surprised if you end up less anxious, and doing better in your search, than you expected. Sometimes our imagination plays tricks on us.
Practice, practice, practice — but don’t overdo it
Say you've landed an interview for a job you really want. At first you're excited, and then it hits you: you actually have to go to the interview. If you have social anxiety, that excitement can quickly turn into panic.
A good step is to look up the questions employers commonly ask (there are plenty of lists online) and prepare your answers. It also helps to practice saying them out loud, alone or with someone else. This builds a kind of "muscle memory," so even if you're very nervous, the answers come out more easily.
But don't spend too much time on it. An hour or so of rehearsing is probably enough. You don't want to rely so much on prepared answers that an unexpected question throws you off completely.
You don't have to get rid of your nerves to do well in an interview. Interviewers expect people to be a little nervous.
So there you have it: three ways to handle social anxiety when you're looking for a new job. If social anxiety is holding you back at work, counseling can help — you can reach me through the contact page. Happy job hunting!
