4 Tips to Calm Your Fears About Going to Counseling

If you're reading this, you're probably at least thinking about counseling — but you may have some doubts. That's okay! If it's your first time, you may not know what to expect, or whether counseling is even for you.

Full disclosure: I'm a counselor, and I believe almost anyone can benefit from counseling. (Of course a counselor would say that.) Still, here are four ideas that I hope will ease some of your worries about getting started.

Counselors are people who have chosen to spend a large part of their time listening to others and supporting them. We're trained to listen without judgment and to treat you with respect, whatever you bring in. Judging you isn't the job — understanding you is.

I love it when clients give me honest feedback about our sessions and about how I work. Counseling isn't one-size-fits-all, and part of my job is to fit the approach to you. That's much easier when you tell me what's helping and what isn't.

Sometimes it's hard to put your finger on what isn't working. That's fine, too. It's still worth bringing up, so you and your counselor can figure out what to change.

Try not to expect too much from the first few sessions. You may not feel an instant connection with your counselor. You might have mixed feelings at first, and you may not be ready to share very personal things right away. That's normal. It can take a little while to feel comfortable enough to talk about your inner thoughts and experiences, so be patient with yourself and with the process.

Also, don't expect everything to be resolved in the first couple of sessions. Smaller problems sometimes improve within a few sessions, but long-standing concerns usually take longer. There's no formal commitment to stay in counseling, but giving the process some time helps you get the most out of it.

This one is especially for people who've tried counseling before and didn't love it. Maybe you met with a counselor who, for whatever reason, wasn't very helpful to you. Counselors are human beings with their own personalities. We work hard to be non-judgmental and unbiased, but our personalities still shape how we work.

So if you had a not-so-great experience before, that doesn't mean it will be the same with every counselor.

Keep these ideas in mind as you think about making your first appointment, or while you wait for your first session. If you'd like to talk with me first, I offer a free 15-minute intro call — you can set one up through the contact page.